"I haven't seen a new post from you in a while"

Almost a year, guys. It's been almost a year since I sat down to write, and wow, has a lot happened. Not so much has changed in my own daily life, but so many events have come and gone, and of course, as I write this, the world outside is imploding. And I do mean the whole world. For anyone who may be living under a rock (or inside the Big Brother Canada house, as they just found out this week), the Covid-19 virus is currently taking a swipe at both the global population and economy.

Now, I run a home childcare business, which means my job depends entirely on other people having jobs... which means I am just about entirely out of a job. Which is just awesome. Luckily, since no one has jobs, the government is stepping up to help us out financially through this mess.

I started this week with all of my dayhome kiddo's here, as well as my own. Yes, that means on Monday, March 16th, I had 10 kids to entertain, feed, nap, keep safe, and attempt to teach (grade 3's are not my specialty). By today, Friday the 20th, I had 3 clients and 3 of my own. It feels lonely, and I miss the ones who aren't here. By April 1st, I'll be down 4 families, and all of Teale's friends, who she's grown up with, will be at home with mom and dad. It's a sad, sobering change, and I miss them already.

I haven't had a time in the past 9 years where I haven't been planning the education, enrichment and meals of at least 4 additional kids. I don't know how to shop for less children, and I find myself stockpiling food, realizing, too late, that I don't need 3 Costco sized boxes of granola bars anymore. I don't need to spend hundreds of dollars at the Dollar Store on craft supplies; my boys are too old for heart stickers and glitter. My world is shifting.

On top of all this, Brian is still working full time. He's a transit operator, and is in contact with the public everyday. I fear that through all of this, even with all the hand sanitizer and shields to protect him, it may not be enough to keep this virus from coming home. The fear is real.

There are good things that have come out of this though. As strange as it feels to have all of my school aged kids home, I'm finding the time to really soak this in. I remember when the boys started pre-school at 3 years old. To me, school feels like the end of childhood. Instead of just waking up and enjoying my babies, you start to live for the weekends, and Christmas/Spring/Summer break. School immediately stops the carefree joy of just being a kid, and my boys started formal schooling 2 years early. I cried when I realized that they were shorted their true childhood. Now they're home for the foreseeable future, and I can hold them, and teach them, and make memories. We're going to learn how to play instruments together. I'm going to teach them how to crochet, and cook, and bake. We'll paint murals on their walls and turn the dining room table into a fort. I can have some real mother/daughter time with Reilly, who has turned into a surly teenager. If it weren't for the whole "we need to pay the bills" thing, this might be the happiest time of my life. It still might, I guess we'll see how it goes.

Emma, my one dayhome girl, who has been with me since she was 11 months old, is also bringing in the joy. On day 1, she made me several crafts telling me she loves me, to hang on my walls. They are proudly displayed in my room. She's changed so much in the 4 years since I've had her full time, school has made it harder to get to know her too. We've spent this week drawing and dancing, and having talks about what's going on in her life.

I can't imagine the life of a teacher, who gets to know and love their students, and at the end of the year, they're all off to new things. This year especially, when their time with the kids has been cut so short. I've had almost 8 years with Emma, I often get at least 5 with most clients, and the idea of them leaving is gut wrenching. Yes, parents, if you didn't know, we cry on your last day with us. Often, we cry after as well.

Of course, other things have happened (horribly sad and amazingly happy things), but since I suddenly find myself with time (gasp!!), I can save that for another post.